You will be whole again. Maybe you don’t trust those words, but despite your disbelief, you will be whole again.
Maybe you fell in love with someone that you didn’t mean to fall in love with. You spent some time with him and even though it was slightly uncomfortable sometimes, you still felt little pangs in your heart that told you he was special. You found out along the way that you and him had the strangest little things in common or that you liked the same nerdy things. You found him awkward and confusing, but you grew to love it. You grew to love that most of all. You found the things he asked you, like “is it okay if I kiss you?” very strange but very endearing. The two of you talked about the same movie over and over again, quoting nearly every word but never tiring of it.
Maybe you had never been involved in something that felt so weird yet so wonderful all at once. Maybe you felt like your heart was swelling, all the while never really knowing if his was swelling, too. Maybe you had this voice in the back of your head that said “You know this isn’t going to work!”, but you fell for him anyway.
Maybe he broke your heart. Maybe he broke it without meaning to. Maybe you never let go of it. Maybe you cried one time, two times, or more. After all that, maybe you felt like it was out of your system for good because how could something so disjointed and uncertain ever work between two people? How could you be in love with someone who hadn’t the slightest idea what it meant for you?
You see him from time to time. Maybe weeks later, months later, a year later, or more. You see him out with his friends. You hope he’s happy with whatever he’s doing, right? You always thought that he was the guy that stood out in his group of friends.
You still see him. You acknowledge each other from time to time. It’s awkward, at least for you. It’s awkward because you felt like he was the first guy in a long time that you connected with, despite his bizarre nature or your unexplainable affection for him. Maybe you still see him the same way. Awkward, beautiful, and completely ignorant of how you felt. Maybe you should tell him.
Maybe he’ll think you’re crazy, or desperate, or pathetic. Maybe he’ll never really get it, that you fell in love with him. Maybe he didn’t fall in love with you the way you did with him.
But you should tell him.
You should tell him because words like these don’t belong bottled up in your heart. You should tell him because you’ve been dreaming about him and you don’t know why, after all this time. You should tell him because you don’t have anything to lose.
Maybe he won’t take it well and maybe he won’t speak to you again, but you should tell him.
You should tell him because you will be whole again. Despite your disbelief or your dissipating faith in love, you will be whole again. Trust me.
